Marry. Bang. Kill.

Marry. Bang. Kill.

 Like most mates that spend too much time together, we talk a whole load of rubbish.

When we’re done venting about our ‘day jobs’ & solving each other’s and the world’s problems (and of course once we’re done talking about how rad your wedding just was), we basically drive home in the wee hours of the morning putting serious thought into pointless hypotheticals.

Well, not completely pointless… y’see when we’ve just played music for 7 or 8 hours, & have finished packing down and loading the car ready for a 2hr drive from the Sunny Coast landing us home somewhere between 3 and 4am, it’s these ‘silly hypotheticals’ that keep us awake (and alive).

So, really, this could well be the most serious blog series ever written. Yeah right.

Anyway, this is DON’T BELIEVE THE HYPE – our blog spot for J&A Hypotheticals.

Today, we’re playing ‘Marry. Bang. Kill.’ – Do you know it?

Traditionally it’s a immature game where you name 3 celebs. One you would happily Marry (ie. be with for life), one you’d like to Bang (ie. be with just one epic time) and one you have to Kill (ie. would not care if they didn’t exist). And seeing as we lie to put a musical spin on everything, in the Jake & Andy version of the game, the rules go like this;

Marry = Name ONE ALBUM to live with. It’s all you can listen to. Ever.
Bang = Name ONE SONG for one perfect moment.

Kill = Name ONE BAND/ARTIST you could happily never hear from again.

ANDY’s ‘Marry. Bang. Kill.’

Marry (album)
Continuum by John Mayer – John and I are about the same age, and his songs (particularly in this album) transcend some of the contemporary issues which kids from the 80’s & 90s face. This album quintessentially and effortlessly links blues music to modern pop culture.

The licks and riffs around Slow Dancin In A Burnin Room and I’m Gonna Find Another You are straight from the Mississippi Delta. John also sneaks Bold As Love onto this album (a cover & one of Andy’s all-time favourite Jimi Hendrix songs) and it fits absolutely perfectly. The guy is a guitar playing genius which this album demonstrates.

Bang (song)

To be With You by Jake & Andy (originally Mr Big) – A while ago we starting making this the last song of our live set, and a ‘second first dance’ of sorts for our couples. It’s a huge song that’s impossible to dislike.
The scene would be at a wedding (obviously), with every wedding guest arm-in-arm circling the dance floor & belting out the entire song with glasses charged as the Bride & Groom have one last magical moment of pure love on their big day.

Kill (band/artist)

Justin Bieber – Sorry peeps, but I just don’t like his music. Nothing personal against the guy, but I’m not into that obviously manipulated, completely manufactured, mass-produced sound. I also think that, as a ‘musician’ he is famous for the entirely wrong reasons too.


JAKE’s ‘Marry. Bang. Kill.’

Marry (album)

Sublime by Sublime – This will be zero percent surprising to anyone that really knows me. From learning to drive & my first car, to now (20 years later) spinning the album on vinyl for my kids, this album has never ventured too far from my ‘on high rotation’ list, and likely never will.
Bradley Nowell (RIP) had a way of phrasing things that just spoke to me. His vocals range from squeaky clean & sickly sweet, to slurred, strained & abrasive. Genre-wise, the tracks on this album should probably never sit in such proximity, yet (for me at least) it’s perfect symbiosis. Stylistically there’s spaced-out stoner dub, thrashy punk, jaunty reggae and straight-up acoustic pop-rock. It’s a cacophony of timing & tempo changes, and although I know every word & can sing the first line of the next song before it starts, this album still feels unpredictable. It speaks to my soul.

Bang (song)

The Seed (2.0) by The Roots ft. Cody Chestnutt – This is another tune that has been a favourite for a very long time. It’s cheeky & clever, and if you can’t get into that groove… check your pulse. These guys are now a house-hold name thanks to them being Jimmy Fallon’s ‘house band’ for close to a decade. But this tune came a good 5 years before that.
Give me a day of sun and fun waves, followed by balcony hangs, sunset beers with my family & closest friends, and this song on repeat. That’s Jake a happy man.

Kill (band/artist)

Nickleback – It might be an obvious choice (sorry, if not), but it’s honestly actually difficult for me to say I’d be happy to never hear something again. In my opinion, most things musical have a time and a place. However, with Nickleback, that’s a time and place I’m not. They’ve sold a shit-load of albums and are a huge commercial success, so I can only assume that there’s plenty of people who would mourn their passing, but… I really wouldn’t.

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